they can't see me stare

Thu, 16 Oct 2003 02:45:43 GMT

add the new livejournal!
persistent_beat

YOU'RE PROBABLY ALREADY ADDED && IF YOUR NOT COMMENT THERE & ASK.
add add add add add add!

& TAK THIS ONE OFF

Mon, 13 Oct 2003 03:41:45 GMT

NEW LJ! it's persistent_beat
. add it! && you can take this one off the friends list.

Sun, 12 Oct 2003 19:21:48 GMT

this is what we do on saturday's when we're tired & don't want to go out.
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!

i'm a p-i-m-p but i look r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d.

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 18:31:03 GMT

i'm in spanish class && bored to death. i'm eating chips. i lost the big memory card to my digital camera & i'm going to go crazy! people are telling me i look like a ballerina today. tonight topanga mall with allyson after school, then the cobalt & someones kickback? tomorrow i have a day with the BFF. gahh; i need to sign up for intersession!

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 00:16:12 GMT

my parents always find reasons/ways to make me feel like shit. yahhh! i'm definitely failing algebra2 & there's nothing i can do. i'm really into this poetry journal we have to keep for english, it's actually something i'm enjoying doing in that class. i went to the urban outfitters in burbank yesterday (yes!; it's open & it made my day). so far, the only good thing today are these mini gummy bears i'm eating. i have a shoe fetish i need to satisfy & i need more shirts. the only problem is, i also need money. i am colorblind; coffee black & egg white. pull me out from inside. i am ready, i am ready, i am ready, i am.

hi my eyes are s-c-a-r-y.
it been months&months since my uncle died, but it JUST actually hit me; i won't hear his voice calling anymore & i won't see him when i go to visit family in South Carolina (which is sad because the last time i saw him was at least 4 or 5 years ago).
&& i'm off to take my shower & eat some more. only 10 or 11 days left of school (not counting the weekends)
SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISNEYLAND! & we can be little kids for the day.

Sun, 05 Oct 2003 21:54:57 GMT

i have a major headache. please help me. gross! my school sucks at life, therefore i have school tomorrow. shake it like a polaroid picture? friends are overrated. except for my best friend.

Sun, 05 Oct 2003 03:17:46 GMT

FRIDAY: go to allysons. yuki, anika, casey, andy & fenmore come over.
- CPK! (enough said).
- yuki & i are lonely together. we slid down the stairs, jumped on the trampoline, played foozball, & walked around ventura together. & met up gin, derek, & paco while everyone else was inside.
- derek kept fucking throwing lit matches at me.
- YUKI & I DID YOGA ON THE TENNIS COURTS IN OUR UNDIES. & i dance like a "whore?"
- we went outside to get lauren & lizzy. lizzy decides to slip while looking for her phone cover HAH.
- we drive around the little bikes&scooters. & I MADE LAUREN CRASH&FALL!.
- allyson, anika & sheerlieface are party poopers, therefore they feel asleep at 2.
- lauren, yuki & i go on the trampoline & cuddle with blankies & have great conversations. then andy, fenmore & lizzy join us.
- yuki, lizzy & i take our clothes off again & run around until allysons mom comes out so we quickly hide under the blankets.
- finally go inside. & i don't fall asleep until 5?
TODAY: swimming & pancakes. mall & photobooth. now i'm home; dead tired. i smell like chlorine so i think i'll go shower (& passout).

hahahahahaha; my mom just called & i picked up & she's all suprised & she's like "JEN?!?! what are you doing home?!!!!!" yup, i love this; even my parents are suprised i'm home on a saturday night.

PICTURES:

& for my xNUJACKSx; GET LOW, motherfuckers.

Sat, 04 Oct 2003 00:55:49 GMT

hi. i hate allyson fucking goddard (!!!)
& i've been in a bad mood lately. thank you. BYE.

hi; i'm in love with this girl.

Fri, 03 Oct 2003 02:03:54 GMT

holdmyhand gun (6:59:01 PM): or KILl YOU ON THE TRAMPOLINE
ice mi cake (6:59:17 PM): haha, holy fucking shit! there's a trampoline?
holdmyhand gun (6:59:22 PM): hhahahah
holdmyhand gun (6:59:23 PM): yahh
ice mi cake (6:59:35 PM): have you ever seen a flying drunk midget on one of those?
holdmyhand gun (6:59:56 PM): omg; i just really laughed out loud
ice mi cake (7:00:15 PM): well you're in luck,
ice mi cake (7:00:21 PM): tomorrow, im there all night.
holdmyhand gun (7:00:24 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 01:58:15 GMT

sometimes i wish i were still in elementary school. santa claus still brought you presents, your homework had to do with coloring (& you read Cat in the Hat in class). what were drugs back then? (we sure didn't know), what was sex? (the raging hormones hadn't kicked in yet). boys had cooties & it was a big deal if you even kissed a boy (nothing but giggles). hanging upside down on the monkey bars was the highlight of your day. we never cried over boys/girls (well unless they did something mean) or were heartbroken. & you're friends weren't so two-faced (nor were they such backstabbers) & always chose chicks before dicks. we were all still so innocent. let's go back cos it all seems so perfect.

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 01:24:23 GMT

hi; my name is jennifer & i need a boy desperately. i think loneliness will kill me (or at least drive me crazy). & like i really deserve a chance to sit across the table & tell you that i think you're wonderful; and i think you're something special. the other night (when i needed to talk to someone the most) my mom took my phones away, so i sat in my room listening to the postal service, looking through tons&tons of old pictures & thought about stuff. arizona green tea is amazing & i watch Degrassi all the time. someone take me to CPK soon. dance, baby, dance. look ma' i'm dancin'. i guess i'm okay cos look at me, i'm smiling now, aren't i? i'm just an ordinary girl in a crazy, mixed-up world.

Tue, 30 Sep 2003 02:22:39 GMT

today; 100 percent on history test but failed my english test. my mom continues the whole "you have to exercise thing" & some kid told me i was fat (?). whatever; cool (i guess). i've been so lonely lately it's pathetic. i want a boy to take cute photobooth pics with (any takers?). i need to buy some sweaters && i need more pants. i found the cutest shoes!. i must buy themmmm. i still want to get a hamster. it will be my new friend.

don't be shy; i won't bite.

is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?

Mon, 29 Sep 2003 03:06:17 GMT

hi. you're rude. my friends are great. & my best friend is amazing. this weekend was amazing. i had so much funnfunfun. friday night; riquel, andy, casey (the guy), chris & i slept over at allysons. jacuzzzzi. me being jen & a dumbass; i went in the pool & it was freeeezing. casey was nakey. how we got 3 people in a tiny bath; i don't know. yah, allyson & i got low, das right. BET morning inspirations suck. saturday night; anika, allyson & i wander around sherman oaks. cafe 50's; photobooth pics & milkshakes. stopped to say hi to paco. went to sheerlies to say hi. then to sydney party. saw mannyyy people i recognized & knew. got broken up by the po-po's within an hour&a half. went back to allysons & andy, casey & fenmore came over. back in the jacuuuzi. malibu's most wanted wud up. what happened to our orgy, kids? "shit, son." lapdances. fenmore&andy killed me. didn't go to bed until 6. this morning andy decided to kill me. i have red marks & bruises from that kid. it's horrible. chachacha. byeeee. boy, kiss me?

Sat, 27 Sep 2003 00:15:56 GMT

school was unbelievably boring. my teacher moved my seat because i get "distracted easily." ADD wud up. i'm sitting here eating "tofee-ettes." yes; i can be immature at times, but kids, honestly, this happened at least a few months ago. leave it alone & stop talking so much shit already. grow up. my report card still sucks & i only have a month left of school (partyy). westside.

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 23:38:51 GMT

I miss Art of the Dance Acamdemy. I wish i never left that place. At the time i was happy cos i was getting out of there, but it hasn't hit me until recently how much i miss the place. how i miss having lunch with our group of friends everyday in our little room. & Carly would tell us all her guy stories. When we danced out in the rain (literally) in instead of being inside taking class & Ms. Monica didn't even care. We we performed Newsies at Disneyland, Magic Mountain & street fairs. When the performing group went to New York. When we would practice for hours nonstop before shows. Halloween; dressing up, doing our dance to thriller with our back flips, scaring the kids in the end & i still remember when we made that little girl cry. We pretty much had no life outside of the dance studio. We always had fun at the recitals backstage, slidding around in our tap shoes & our little picnics during the shows we weren't in. Not to mention the bad times backstage running around changing from costume to costume, coming off of stage crying cos you messed up or fell (either that or you'd just laugh). When Ms. Monica would tell us ghost stories after class since we were the only people left in the studio. the Nutcracker (well each one we did each year).

wait; let's go back to when we were even smaller than that. when we were still so young & in diapers & danced on stage with our mommys. when we had to wear those itchy little tu-tu's we complained oh so much about. Once we grew up we helped with the little kids that we once were that didn't know how to dance or much less, where to go. we all cried and were sad when Doris left the studio. we had to wear all these ugly costumes & do stupid poses for the pictures. we dreaded these days; yet we still managed to suck it up & put on that fake smile for the camera. when we had no clue what we were doing so we'd watch each other to figure it out. i look back at the tapes from when i was so much younger & i just laugh at how bad i was. i look back at tapes of the later ones & remember some of the dances & miss how much fun we had performing them (especially newsies; one that we did for such a long time but never got tired of). I remember one of the first recitals i was in was called "Look Ma, I'm Dancing." yah, i was dancing, but it's all gone. 12 years of dance, i've been away for like 4 months now (the longest i've been away from it in the last 12 years). nahnahnah.

4/5 - 8 (ish)

the old old performing group (when we were still a small group).

hahahahhaha.

& all that jazz

once the performing group became huge.

yah; i was a lame kid (wud up?).

i really don't care if anyone read this. (actually i hope hayley did).

WHY DID I GIVE IT ALL UP?

Wed, 24 Sep 2003 01:22:59 GMT

so, i'm smiling again. && i'm glad. andrew got me some jack in the box for lunch today (thank you soo much). i still eat too much & still in desperate need of a job. i'm not sure if my room is going to painted red. now i'm debating between a few other colors. sucked at the history test today. & i'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz (except i'm not, but that just popped into my head, because i'm a physco freak). i'm going to wash my face because my dark eye makeup makes me look scary. i'm in love with the world.

Mon, 22 Sep 2003 00:07:54 GMT

yesterday was nothing exiciting. short skirts & dark eyeliner. i couldn't figure out those paddle ball things if my life depended on it. ran in to a lot of people & got to talk to chris. but it's okay, i'm awesome. sneaking out late at night & midnight runs to jack in the box. lots of crazy drunk adults who said i was gonna get raped? at the party we went to. & drunkman calling me anika. hung with paco in starbucks parking lot & got stuck in the car. sleeeeep. more short skirts. shopped it up on melrose. & i'm ready to pass out.

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 05:52:51 GMT

lets see; i've been in a pretty good mood lately. my dad still puts me down (but i've learned to ignore him). my parents don't get along (which pisses me off). my dad is a lazy guy who get irritated unbelievably easily & is very old fashioned about things (not to mention overprotective). && my mom is the type of person that bothers people purposely & is very sarcastic. babysitting the cousins. i promised the baby jellybeans, so i have to get him those tomorrow. so many things i was supposed to do today (whatever). nah nah. we're going to watch the lizzie mcguire movie. tomorrow; lunch with my other half. blubby, talk talk talk & dance dance dance. gahhhh; sleeeeeep.

Fri, 19 Sep 2003 04:23:51 GMT

do you speak mexican? NO. do you fucking speak american? & for the record; i'm half hispanic NOT half mexican & YES there is a difference. ignorant PEOPLE. all hispanic/latin people aren't mexican. this weekend should be awesome. sleepovers, lunch with the BFF, melrose with anika. & whatever else i decide to do. awsome. my hair sucks. i'm going to go dance around in my cute undies & be an ADHD child (uhh; what's new?). minimum day tomorrow (partyyy). happy 18th birthday dylan!

no hype, no gloss, no pretense, just me; stripped.

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 04:23:28 GMT

i'm sorry i "changed" but, i'm also sorry you are the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world. go home. i have shitty grades (i'm not stupid, i don't try) & i'm jobless. i pretty much gave up dance cos i'm a moron. i started gymnastics. i play tony hawk & suck at it. i eat too much. i don't eat seafood & i rarely eat meat. i'm obsessed with gummy bears. i love apple juice. i'm addicted to chapstick. i want to go to a junior college (and what?). i'm unbelievably lazy yet full of energy. i long for that amazing boy i could say is mine. i miss being in elementary school, when everything fun&easy (&less drama). i hate highschool, end of story. yes, i want to move out as soon as i turn 18 cos i can't stand being at home. i focus too much on boyss. i love my bestfriends cos the ones who really count are always there for me. i will be a bitch sometimes (but i'll usually apologize if i realize it). i'm a hopeless romantic who will hopefully someday find the relationship i'm looking for. i cry over movies. & sing along to the lizzie mcguire soundtrack with my bestfriend. i dance around in my cute undies. people seem to find reasons to dislike me.

yes, i have many flaws & i'm sorry i'm not pretty enough for you. sorry i'm not perfect. sorry i'm not a slut. sorry i wear a lot of black. & lots of skirts. sorry you feel the need to talk so much shit about me. sorry you feel the need to correct every mistake i make online (which is stupid, not to mention annoying). i grew up in the valley & want to live somewhere else for at least a few years. i'm very irresponsible at times but also trusting. i will listen to you & try to give you advice. i love cuddling & cute kisses. i love my lime green computer room. i try to avoid drama (although i sometimes start it; whatever). i'm very obnoxious at times. at times i have very big trust issues cos i've been backstabbed so many times (by "close" friends). i will get into my moods where i feel that everything is going wrong. i'm 5'5 (i think), have dark brown hair & shit brown eyes (that seem darker/lighter whenever they feel like it), i have a low self-esteem & am very self-concious. i like a boy & hope things go well. i feel that my parents don't believe in me & are disappointed in me. i regret many things & at times i'm disappointed in myself. i'm sorry for making this so long & pointless. you'll live; i promise. i'll be totally suprised if anyone even read this.

see, i'm awesome; cos that's the actual color of my wall.

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 03:26:09 GMT

got picked up by the gorgeous casey&etalia. went to fairfax. shopped around there. then to urban (1$,5$ sale, heaven). got a few shirts & cute undies. :]] creepy homeless man in leather pants & cowboy hat stopped behind the car & we freaked out. foood, because we're cows. people try to kill her car. love you girls. we're going back to soon. my dad was yelling at me about my grades, AGAIN. & how i'll probably only be able to go to Valley (i'd prefer Santa Monica). whatever, i haven't been getting along with him for more than a few hours lately. & i like a boy, but don't bother asking me, it's annoying. i have wanted to really get into photography for the last few years & never did. i still think i should. please, be kind, don't drop a rock on me. kbye. oh; etalia, casey & i are "charlies angels" according to some weird guy. but it's okay, we're awesome.

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 06:47:45 GMT

i've got somewhere i belong. i've got somebody to love. this is what dreams are made of.
YAH RIGHT. but i'm awesome. oh; today at the mall some guys came up to me & started talking:
GUY: so, you have a man?
ME: yah; i have 2.
GUY: want a third?
ME: no thanks. :walks away:
well, i guess you just had to be there. hahahaha. got my nails did. shoppingtime tomorrow. BYE.
ps; i have lime green walls. it's cool kids, i swear.

RIP; John Ritter & Johnny Cash.

Fri, 12 Sep 2003 23:31:23 GMT

school sucks&boring, i'm over it. i have no school spirit whatsoever, therefore i'm not going to the football game, thanks. i pissed my teacher off with the exorcist voice, it was awesome, "FUCK ME." that little scary kid ALWAYS touches me. i have issues, i think i have ADD (no, really). WHAT AM I DOING TODAY?! i need new clothessss. you make me feel great, DO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIEEEE!! <3,xo.

Fri, 12 Sep 2003 04:31:26 GMT

i was in an amazing mood a few hours ago. humph; but things turned blah again. laksdja save me before i die of lonliness. aaron loves when i do the exorcist voice for him on the phone(but it hurts my throat after a while). i haven't been to dance in a while, this is amazing, i was usually there at least 4 times a week. gahgaha; i neeeed to go backkkk. i will probably be a loser & be stuck at home tomorrow watching awesome shows/movies & pigging out after school. wayyawesome. math test tomorrow (wud up fail). <3RYAN<3. & i still need a boy (who's going to find me one?).

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 04:25:24 GMT

i'm bored; & have absolutely nothing to do. yes; i do realize i will probably be eating meat again, soon. but as of now it completely disgusts me. i need the weekend. nothing to big is going on. mainly just hanging out. shopping with casey & hanging with nick (i think is what this weekend will consist of). tomorrow i have to clean out my room; exiciting. get me a job. & as of now i'm nothing but a hopeless romantic. teenage lovers between the sheets.